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IELTS Writing (Academic) Task 1 Sample 8


Refer to the flow diagram of apple jam manufacturing process. Describe it in words in the form of a technical summary. (At least 150 words).

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Sample Answer

The flow diagram draws the manufacturing process of apple jam in a commercial plant. The process is broken into various stages. In the first stage, the unit receives supply of apples from the producers. The raw apples are then sorted at the plant. Suitable pieces are washed and cleaned for pre-processing. During the pre-processing stage, the apples are crushed by machine and transferred into a mixing vessel.

Next is the mixing stage in which the crushed apple pulp is mixed with water and lime juice and the sucrose source is screened simultaneously. Once the mixing is completed, the pulp is sent into the boiling chamber where it is boiled and homogenised, and readied to be set. The setting of the jam happens inside the holding vessel where the cooked mixture is allowed to stand and set.

While the jam sets, the jars are washed and sanitised in a separate unit and readied to be filled. The jars are then queued and filled from the holding vessel and moved forward to the labelling unit for labelling and holding. Once the stipulated batches of jars are manufactured and packaged, they are dispatched.

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Analysis

COHERENCE AND COHESION

  • The candidate responded to the instruction to describe the process in technical terms, focusing on each stage of the process in relation to the one before and after. Always answer the question asked, and in the way you are asked to answer it.

  • The information is presented methodically, indicating an organised approach to articulating the answer. Each stage is summarised concisely, with an additional (external) understanding of the process inserted where possible. Don’t be afraid to supplement the information given with any knowledge you can bring to the table.

GRAMMAR

  • Note that the tense used throughout is Present Simple. This is the most common tense used for such things as news reports, informal storytelling, and observational humour. Using the Present Simple (or Simple Present) makes things imminent and relevant to the present moment, creating a sense of connection. This candidate uses the Present Simple here to create a descriptive narrative similar to the voice of a documentary.

  • Note also the passive voice in such terms as ‘is broken (into)’, ‘is mixed’, and ‘are washed’. While these look like past participles of the verbs ‘to break’, ‘to mix’, and ‘to wash’, using them in the passive form like this allows the candidate to remain in the Present tense.

LEXICAL RESOURCE

simultaneously - at the same time, acting together

homogenised - If something is homogenous, it is all the same. In production terms, homogenisation mixes two or more products (usu. liquid) until a single product emerges.

readied - (passive voice) prepared for use, changed into a prepared state

stipulated - stated, mentioned, or referenced

Alternatives to ‘draws’ in the opening sentence could be ‘shows’ or ‘outlines’.


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